[ Bones nearly jumps. That was damn quick, wasn't it? His room is pretty simple—obviously the room of a man who spends mostly his mornings here, or sleeps in spurts. He has a fireplace, some comfortable chairs, and a bed, but besides a blue comforter and a few mirrors and tools, it's not terribly decorated from the standard. Bones obviously spends more time in his office than here. ]
Yeah, come in! No point in keeping you out.
[ He's had dreams too, but Jim will have to share his first. Bones isn't big on this destiny bullshit, even if he can't help but enjoy Jim's presence. ]
[It was quick because he was coming here to start with, but decided to message him first before just knocking. It was a bit backwards, but that's fine. It didn't need to make sense to anyone else but himself.
Stepping in, he closes the door behind him as he takes in the room. Oh, blue comforter? Guess he was telling the truth about his favorite color.]
I mean, you said I could come over and here I am.
[Kirk looks tired, like his sleep wasn't restful or something, but he still gives the doctor a bright grin.]
[ He was! Bones really just feels an affinity towards blue. Don't question it, not everyone needs to have Court pride all the time. ]
You were halfway here, if that.
[ He rolls his eyes, knowing he couldn't have stopped Jim even if he'd tried. The truth is he doesn't want to, but that reluctance is forgotten when he sees how tired Jim looks. ]
You been having trouble sleeping, kid? Didn't realize my face was enough to give you nightmares.
[ He does in fact approach Jim with the intent of taking a closer look at him, unless Jim doesn't want that... but look, he's a doctor. He can't resist. And after the memory of chasing Jim around... he's got some concerns. ]
[Seeing Bones start to go doctor on him, he rolls his eyes a little bit but doesn't resist it as much as part of him wants to. Lets Bones fuss over him.]
Hardly. It was just... stressful, like the fate everyone fell on me and if I couldn't convince them of it then everyone was going to die.
[It wasn't quite a nightmare but it wasn't a good dream either. No, he shakes his head.]
I dreamed about m-- the ship again, the Enterprise.
[His tone is heavy. He finally has a name for her. For his ship. But--]
[ Bones shakes his head, a weird sort of understanding settling in on him as Jim explains what he'd dreamed of. It doesn't surprise him to hear that Jim had seen him on the ship. ]
I, uh. I ain't told you this yet, but I think I...
[ How does he even say this. There's a lot to say. Bones stands and steps over to his bed, motioning for Jim to join him. For some reason, he wants to do this closer to the kid. ]
I remembered parts of that ship. Couldn't have told you the name of it before, but... I think I worked there, too? At least I remembered chasing you around while you ran like an idiot with an allergic reaction. [ He shrugs. ] Got promoted too. Though it was pretty fucked up.
Edited (added his promotion) 2024-02-18 03:25 (UTC)
[He looks more incredulous than upset or accusatory, though he doesn't linger long as he shakes his head and focuses on what's important now, which is that Bones was telling him now.
Which-- hold up a minute.]
Woah woah woah, wait a second. [He raises a hand to stall Bones from saying anything more. Because that sounds like--]
Were my hands the size of grapefruits? And you kept stabbing me in the neck? I remember running up to a girl and something you gave me caused my tongue to go numb...
[ It only takes Bones a second to recall Jim's medical condition. The kid had so many allergies, though he couldn't list them all off, he feels keenly aware of this fact. ]
Yeah, you know what? I think they were. Plus you were runnin' like a spring hen with a damn fox on your tail, I had to chase you halfway across the ship! Kept yelling about something, but I wasn't paying attention on account that you were sick as a dog and wouldn't let me treat you!
[ Recalling the memory brings the irritation back a bit, but for Bones this was a minor memory, he doesn't remember what else was happening, just remembers Jim and allergies and "take the damn hypo, you corn-fed idiot," which may have been running through his mind at the time. The thought doesn't make any sense to him now, but he remembers stabbing Jim in the neck with medicine, and growing increasingly irritated that Jim wouldn't stay down.
But if they had the same dream, what did that mean? And if Bones can still recall it so clearly—well, he does owe Jim an explanation. That's all he can do, until they make sense of this.
He takes a breath, speaking as calm as he can. He's not about to feel guilty for avoiding talking about something that would have sounded insane to him only a month ago. ]
I haven't been sure that this—that these weird dreams and memories aren't just, you know, cooked up from too much bloodwine or lack of sleep. The first thing I dreamt of that didn't make any sense was... Meeting you. But I met you at Winter Sol, not on some shuttle so it was damn weird. I didn't believe it.
[ You can't meet someone twice, but Bones had, somehow. And that didn't make sense. And so until it made sense, he hadn't wanted to bring it up. But it's coming up now, and Bones is seriously starting to get weirded out by these coincidences. He doesn't even know what a shuttle is, he just knows he was on one. All of this is too weird for him. ]
Shit... yeah that's the same dream, isn't it? I remember everything I was going on about, I had to stop the ship or everyone was going to die, I succeeded but... it was a massacre for the other ships before us.
[Kirk seems to go into his thoughts, mind racing to put the puzzle pieces together, to understand what's going on here before him. Was this what Xenk and Edgin had? Shared memories of each other? From what little he knows, he's under the impression that they also shared similar memories, but-- There is no way going to space, being on something so advanced would be a past life. If anything that should be a future life but why were they getting memories of it? Edgin said at one point that it was the real memory.. Real memory.
Then Bones is explaining himself and Kirk is able to split his focus to listen to Bones while his mind races for answers. Wait--]
You dreamed about meeting me? On a shuttle? [What the fuck was a shuttle?] I don't have a memory of that. Yet at least.
[Okay, he needed to go about this delicately, he didn't want to reveal too much.]
I think these are memories, not just dreams or delusions, I.. We're not the only two it's happened to. I know two other people who are sharing memories. From what little we spoke about it, I think one of them believes it's a past life thing..? I'm not so sure that can apply to the kind of memories we're having.
[ A promotion in the field... Founders, what the hell were they getting into? And why were they in space? He'd almost have expected Jim to remember everything he had, but that doesn't make sense. Why would he? It felt real though. It had to be real. If Jim didn't remember them meeting, then maybe he just hadn't remembered it yet.
It makes sense, in a completely nonsensical way, that these memories are something starring the both of them. Bones hand't even considered the alternative—his first memory starred him and Jim. Was meeting the catalyst? ]
Memories? Like from some—
[ He pauses, because Jim offers the idea of a 'past life' and that would make sense, except for the part where they were in space. And the technology seemed... nothing like this. He's a little curious about who else could be sharing memories like this, but ultimately they have to figure their own shit out, Bones doesn't give gossip too much credit. ]
Well, I sure as hell hope it ain't the future, because things would have to change pretty fucking drastically for you and me to end up in the fucking sky.
[It's not gossip! He got it straight from the source, he's just protecting the people involved in case they don't want just anyone knowing about them sharing dreams and memories and such. Maybe Xenk wouldn't mind, but Edgin probably would. It was important to him that he protect both his current and future Makers.
He shakes his head.]
I don't know about that, I--I... I don't think it's our future so much as maybe a future life? In which I still call you Bones and I'm still Jim Kirk.. which is what seems wild to me. Because I don't think I was a vampire, so how was I still me?
[It would be one thing to look different, to have a different name, but to be exactly the same? To be himself still? But he couldn't have been a vampire.. sure everything was color coded correctly (some medical people were in white and silver, some people in red, gold, and blue, but..) but how could he have that level of a allergic reaction if he was a vampire? To be that winded, to feel his heart racing, blood pumping... "We got to keep your heartrate down" Bones had said as much.
No, he had been alive. ]
I don't know how we get there, but I just.. Maybe this is the something that's drawn us in together, you said you felt we met before, that you knew me. Well, maybe this is it. And that's what's most confusing, how right and real it feels to me.
[ To be totally fair, Bones gets it. He hasn't told anyone about these memories in detail—Lockwood knew that Bones wanted to be friends with Jim because it felt right, and Karma thought it might be destiny, which feels weirdly right, too.
If they were meant to meet in the future, or meant to meet in another life, what did that mean? If they had the same names, and the same faces, what could it be but some strange life they couldn't escape from? Certainly Bones could think of worse things for fate to pull him towards then Jim Kirk, but it's all really confusing and enough to rock a guy's worldview a bit. ]
I definitely wasn't a vampire. It feels different, then and now. I was alive.
[ Which is weird to notice, but also adds some credibility to the chance of it being something in the future. What happens to vampires when they die? Do they get reborn? Fuck, he doesn't want to think about that, it's so damn philisophical. There was no point in dwelling on that—they couldn't change it, whatever it was.
But they could focus on the here and now. ]
I felt it. Wantin' to learn more about you, feeling... you know, like I can talk to you. I know this is it, I've just been denyin' it.
[ He shakes his head. He sounds so ridiculous. But the possibility of their meeting feels inevitable. Getting memories of chasing Jim around only seemed to confirm what Leonard felt when they first met—this man is going somewhere, and I wanna follow him. Even if it meant chasing him down halls or finding out more about why he had a split lip and blood all over his clothes. Even if he was a brat who liked having his neck bit.
Of course, instead of all that, he says: ]
Really are stuck together, huh? If that's another life, or the future... somethin' tells me, this is it.
[Kirk doesn't know exactly what it feels to be a vampire yet, but that was the best explanation he had for why they were the same people still, but they weren't vampires, they were alive... So, how could they be such exact replicas of themselves? Bones still a doctor, Kirk... well what he wanted to be, a leader. Still with the same names, faces, voices, everything. How does that even work? Maybe he needs to research it.
Except not everyone was here or at least the same, Spock and Uhura weren't here, same with Scotty and Chekov... it was just him and Bones. Just him and a man he felt fond of in the memory just the same as he does now but with more.. more time, more growth? Even if he was also super irritated with him at the time.
His head pops up at the admittance though, eyebrows going up, because Bones has kind of admitted something similar, but to full on admit he felt that something too? That Jim wasn't crazy in feeling the pull of.. destiny or some weird crap.
But Bones felt it too, that need to know the other, the instant draw and almost.. comfort to talk to one another. That he's been denying it but not anymore. Not with this shared memory. It wasn't a shared dream, like what happened earlier, no, this was two separate dreams that coincided in their memory.
And then Bones is giving voice to what he's felt for a while. That this is it, this friendship is it, something big and important and just it.]
I told you, I set my sights on you, Bones, you can't even get rid of me in another life. [He gives a delighted sort of laugh and smile, bright as sunshine, right now his death wasn't even on his mind, the fact he isn't alone in this was something worth feeling bright over.]
So, you got promoted and I eventually become Captain, sounds like we'll be working close together, make a good team even.
[ Overwhelmed with existential dread, uncertainty and a million other what ifs that are running through his head, Bones can only default to that place he knows. Anger. Frustration. He rolls his eyes, but there's no bite in it. He said it first, after all. This is it. ]
May as well be a thunderstorm in July for how much I can't avoid you, kid.
[ Jim's smiling like the sun and Bones knows that warmth in his chest isn't from frustration. He's already said way more than he's told most people, always shared parts of himself that he never shares.
He'll freak out about the implications later. For now, hearing Jim laugh and seeing him smile would just have to be good enough. ]
"Chief Medical Officer." [ He says it like he's quoting someone, because he is. At the same time, he's proud of the title. It may not mean much of anything to him, but it's a point of pride to know he was still good at his job in whatever weird future life they had. ] Are we in the military or something? One where everybody wears blue or red?
[There were a lot of emotions running through Kirk, a lot of what ifs and buts, maybes and probabilities, but he doesn't linger on it right now, that was something for him to drown in later, for now he.. he has Bones at least and even if the man is acting angry he can tell there is no bite.
He even chuckles at the metaphor. ]
Chief huh? Then we'll be working real close together. And... I don't know. We all had titles.. Captain, cadet, lieutenant, they spoke like they were giving orders..
[Kirk gets really serious, bringing his hand to his chin as he recalls things, brows pinched a little in thought.]
I think maybe? I mean, the captain, Pike, he was in Gold, so were a few others. So it's not just red and blue. I remember all three colors being in my other memory too.
Captains in Gold. Maybe there is some connection there. Or you leader-types just like lookin' flashy.
[ Another roll of eyes, but there's some comfort in that too. Jim getting serious, the use of titles and order... At least these other memories have things in common with their real lives. Maybe that's not so bad then. Whatever it was, maybe it would be fine.
It'll be a puzzle to put together, something to pull apart and make sense of. ]
Hold on, I thought you said you were captain? Who's Pike?
When you're chasing me around on the ship, I'm just a cadet, I'm not captain yet, Pike is.
[It was confusing for him too because in his other memory he is captain, he was responsible for everyone and everything that was happening, he had to save his crew even at the.. sacrifice of his life.]
I become Captain at some point, but I'm not sure when.. I'm captain in my other memory the one where.. Well, you saw it. A warped nightmare version of it. You weren't actually there, in the real memory.
[He swallows and feels a heavy weight on his chest again at the thought.]
I don't know where you were. Hopefully somewhere safer than a dying ship.
[ Bones nods. That makes sense, that Jim would still be a cadet while he was doing shit like that. Leonard would hope that the kid would calm down between then and whenever he became captain of a ship.
Still, talk of the dream sobers Bones up pretty quick. If he had to guess, any situation where Jim dies probably means Bones couldn't stop him from doing something stupid or reckless. That, or maybe he just wasn't on board? He'd guess he was dead maybe, but who can say? Had Jim's sacrifice for the crew included him? Could he really think that sacrificing himself would be worth it?
It's a can of worms he doesn't wanna open too much. ]
That's a real shit memory.
[ Not the worst way to die, if he's being honest—saving other people is the best reason to, at times, but if you ask Bones he'd rather save people and avoid an untimely death. He still doesn't know Jim well enough to guess what he was thinking. All he can do is bring an arm around Jim's shoulders, pulling him into a half hug. ]
Hey, at least in this life, you're not gonna die permanently. Us vampires get to cheat death.
[ It's pretty great!! Except for the shitty parts, but Bones is trying to stay positive here. Which is how you know he cares about Jim—he's a real negative Nancy with most people. ]
[Kirk laughs, though a little humorlessly at the summation that Bones offers, because yeah, it was a real shit memory. Yet, it wasn't. It was worth it to save his crew, to save his friends and loved ones. He remembers looking at Spock and thinking "I saved him" and the satisfied way it filled his heart with warmth.
He knows he would feel the same way about Bones and saving him. The relief he felt when Spock told him the ship and crew were saved. It was terrifying but worth it. And what a weird feeling that was, but he can still feel that mix of emotions in his chest when he thinks about it.
It makes his Becoming something he's dreading.. to die again.
Again.
The half hug is surprising, but he returns it, leaning into the hug and resting his head against him.]
Yeah.. yeah you're not wrong.
[He gives Bones a cheeky smile, more to cover up that the idea of dying in general scares him.]
Plus, I get to bother my favorite doctor all the time. I'm looking forward to it.
[ One day Bones is gonna remember Jim's death and he'll have a lot more to say than just this. But for now, he's got his bedside manner, and he's got his friend, and if death is coming, then they'll just get past it.
Clearly, death can't stop them because they can't read. ]
Yeah, lucky me.
[ Bones rolls his eyes but he gives Jim a squeeze. A physical reassurance if nothing else. It's all he can do, when there's so much uncertainty. He doesn't know what any of this. means, what a shared life in space might have to do with where they are now.
But an eternity with his friend—maybe even his best friend, even if they're both vampires, well. That sounds pretty nice, he has to admit. ]
Better not get injured just so you can come see me. I have office hours, you know.
[ As if Jim needed office hours to invade Leonard's space. Psh. ]
Edited (besties (last one I promise) ) 2024-02-23 21:03 (UTC)
[Kirk leans into the squeeze, squeezing the man back in return. Because he really cares about him, this crotchety old doctor has really become someone he care about so dearly and it's so weird for him. Sure, he sometimes finds someone and attaches to them like honey, but that only really happened with a couple people in his life.. and one left and the other is his maker, so the fact it happened with Bones? Well.. he's glad it did. He's glad there is this pull between them so he could meet this amazing man.
And the fact that Bones barely tried to push him away before also giving in to this feeling, before giving into the pull between them? It just made Jim want to stick to him even more.
Bones wasn't doing himself any favors being nice to this idiot, he would never get rid of him at this rate.]
Uh-huh, office hours, we both know those don't apply to me. [Grin.]
But just for you, I won't go looking for trouble, I'll let it find me instead.
[ But he smiles as he says it, somehow warmed by the proximity, even knowing what a headache Jim Kirk can be. He can't imagine getting rid of him now, can't imagine not having him in his life even with just the few things he remembers before. Something about this kid, underneath all his bluster, was worth keeping around.
He doesn't even deny the thing about his office hours. Those never apply to the people Bones actually likes.
They were always going to meet, whether in this life or the next. Strange fucking feeling, but at least they weren't dealing with it alone. ]
Try and do it for your hot maker too—even if somethin' tells me trouble an' you are old friends.
[ He elbows Jim in the side, playful more than anything. Oh, you're in trouble now, Jim. If you've made it to Bones actually getting playful, there's simply no escaping him. ]
And if you tell Edgin I said he's hot, I'll find my biggest needle to stab you with next time you end up in the infirmary!
[Yep, Kirk doesn't hear any denial about what he says about the office hours, which gets him to smirk knowingly. Because of course Bones likes him enough to be willing to see him outside of office hours.
He laughs when Bones calls him and trouble old friends. Honestly, he likes Bones being playful, it felt right.]
Of course I try to stay out of trouble for my hot maker, and I promise, I won't tell him. Though he would be flattered to know.
[A pause and then he's grinning this time, like the cat who got the canary]
Wanna see my mask? I'm told it looks like a slightly younger, less sad Edgin.
[ Brat and your special perks, smh. Bones grumbles elbowing Jim again. ]
He's just a friend! Like you.
[ That's not a "we'll never have sex," in fact it's the opposite considering how Bones feels about Edgin, but don't worry about it. If they're just messing around, then that's good. It feels nice. Bones hasn't really had a friend like Jim... ever, if he thinks about it. Maybe in that other life? But it was Jim, wasn't it? ]
Sure, let's see it. Though for the record, Edgin pulls off sad really well.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But yeah, I've got time. Am I psychoanalyzing your dreams now?
[ Says the guy who has also had weird dreams about space ]
> Action
Maybe. And good because I'm at your door.
[There's a knock.]
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[ Bones nearly jumps. That was damn quick, wasn't it? His room is pretty simple—obviously the room of a man who spends mostly his mornings here, or sleeps in spurts. He has a fireplace, some comfortable chairs, and a bed, but besides a blue comforter and a few mirrors and tools, it's not terribly decorated from the standard. Bones obviously spends more time in his office than here. ]
Yeah, come in! No point in keeping you out.
[ He's had dreams too, but Jim will have to share his first. Bones isn't big on this destiny bullshit, even if he can't help but enjoy Jim's presence. ]
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Stepping in, he closes the door behind him as he takes in the room. Oh, blue comforter? Guess he was telling the truth about his favorite color.]
I mean, you said I could come over and here I am.
[Kirk looks tired, like his sleep wasn't restful or something, but he still gives the doctor a bright grin.]
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You were halfway here, if that.
[ He rolls his eyes, knowing he couldn't have stopped Jim even if he'd tried. The truth is he doesn't want to, but that reluctance is forgotten when he sees how tired Jim looks. ]
You been having trouble sleeping, kid? Didn't realize my face was enough to give you nightmares.
[ He does in fact approach Jim with the intent of taking a closer look at him, unless Jim doesn't want that... but look, he's a doctor. He can't resist. And after the memory of chasing Jim around... he's got some concerns. ]
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[Seeing Bones start to go doctor on him, he rolls his eyes a little bit but doesn't resist it as much as part of him wants to. Lets Bones fuss over him.]
Hardly. It was just... stressful, like the fate everyone fell on me and if I couldn't convince them of it then everyone was going to die.
[It wasn't quite a nightmare but it wasn't a good dream either. No, he shakes his head.]
I dreamed about m-- the ship again, the Enterprise.
[His tone is heavy. He finally has a name for her. For his ship. But--]
But I wasn't Captain yet. [He wasn't dead yet.]
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[ Bones shakes his head, a weird sort of understanding settling in on him as Jim explains what he'd dreamed of. It doesn't surprise him to hear that Jim had seen him on the ship. ]
I, uh. I ain't told you this yet, but I think I...
[ How does he even say this. There's a lot to say. Bones stands and steps over to his bed, motioning for Jim to join him. For some reason, he wants to do this closer to the kid. ]
I remembered parts of that ship. Couldn't have told you the name of it before, but... I think I worked there, too? At least I remembered chasing you around while you ran like an idiot with an allergic reaction. [ He shrugs. ] Got promoted too. Though it was pretty fucked up.
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[He looks more incredulous than upset or accusatory, though he doesn't linger long as he shakes his head and focuses on what's important now, which is that Bones was telling him now.
Which-- hold up a minute.]
Woah woah woah, wait a second. [He raises a hand to stall Bones from saying anything more. Because that sounds like--]
Were my hands the size of grapefruits? And you kept stabbing me in the neck? I remember running up to a girl and something you gave me caused my tongue to go numb...
[Did they have the same dream?]
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Yeah, you know what? I think they were. Plus you were runnin' like a spring hen with a damn fox on your tail, I had to chase you halfway across the ship! Kept yelling about something, but I wasn't paying attention on account that you were sick as a dog and wouldn't let me treat you!
[ Recalling the memory brings the irritation back a bit, but for Bones this was a minor memory, he doesn't remember what else was happening, just remembers Jim and allergies and "take the damn hypo, you corn-fed idiot," which may have been running through his mind at the time. The thought doesn't make any sense to him now, but he remembers stabbing Jim in the neck with medicine, and growing increasingly irritated that Jim wouldn't stay down.
But if they had the same dream, what did that mean? And if Bones can still recall it so clearly—well, he does owe Jim an explanation. That's all he can do, until they make sense of this.
He takes a breath, speaking as calm as he can. He's not about to feel guilty for avoiding talking about something that would have sounded insane to him only a month ago. ]
I haven't been sure that this—that these weird dreams and memories aren't just, you know, cooked up from too much bloodwine or lack of sleep. The first thing I dreamt of that didn't make any sense was... Meeting you. But I met you at Winter Sol, not on some shuttle so it was damn weird. I didn't believe it.
[ You can't meet someone twice, but Bones had, somehow. And that didn't make sense. And so until it made sense, he hadn't wanted to bring it up. But it's coming up now, and Bones is seriously starting to get weirded out by these coincidences. He doesn't even know what a shuttle is, he just knows he was on one. All of this is too weird for him. ]
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[Kirk seems to go into his thoughts, mind racing to put the puzzle pieces together, to understand what's going on here before him. Was this what Xenk and Edgin had? Shared memories of each other? From what little he knows, he's under the impression that they also shared similar memories, but-- There is no way going to space, being on something so advanced would be a past life. If anything that should be a future life but why were they getting memories of it? Edgin said at one point that it was the real memory.. Real memory.
Then Bones is explaining himself and Kirk is able to split his focus to listen to Bones while his mind races for answers. Wait--]
You dreamed about meeting me? On a shuttle? [What the fuck was a shuttle?] I don't have a memory of that. Yet at least.
[Okay, he needed to go about this delicately, he didn't want to reveal too much.]
I think these are memories, not just dreams or delusions, I.. We're not the only two it's happened to. I know two other people who are sharing memories. From what little we spoke about it, I think one of them believes it's a past life thing..? I'm not so sure that can apply to the kind of memories we're having.
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[ A promotion in the field... Founders, what the hell were they getting into? And why were they in space? He'd almost have expected Jim to remember everything he had, but that doesn't make sense. Why would he? It felt real though. It had to be real. If Jim didn't remember them meeting, then maybe he just hadn't remembered it yet.
It makes sense, in a completely nonsensical way, that these memories are something starring the both of them. Bones hand't even considered the alternative—his first memory starred him and Jim. Was meeting the catalyst? ]
Memories? Like from some—
[ He pauses, because Jim offers the idea of a 'past life' and that would make sense, except for the part where they were in space. And the technology seemed... nothing like this. He's a little curious about who else could be sharing memories like this, but ultimately they have to figure their own shit out, Bones doesn't give gossip too much credit. ]
Well, I sure as hell hope it ain't the future, because things would have to change pretty fucking drastically for you and me to end up in the fucking sky.
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He shakes his head.]
I don't know about that, I--I... I don't think it's our future so much as maybe a future life? In which I still call you Bones and I'm still Jim Kirk.. which is what seems wild to me. Because I don't think I was a vampire, so how was I still me?
[It would be one thing to look different, to have a different name, but to be exactly the same? To be himself still? But he couldn't have been a vampire.. sure everything was color coded correctly (some medical people were in white and silver, some people in red, gold, and blue, but..) but how could he have that level of a allergic reaction if he was a vampire? To be that winded, to feel his heart racing, blood pumping... "We got to keep your heartrate down" Bones had said as much.
No, he had been alive. ]
I don't know how we get there, but I just.. Maybe this is the something that's drawn us in together, you said you felt we met before, that you knew me. Well, maybe this is it. And that's what's most confusing, how right and real it feels to me.
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If they were meant to meet in the future, or meant to meet in another life, what did that mean? If they had the same names, and the same faces, what could it be but some strange life they couldn't escape from? Certainly Bones could think of worse things for fate to pull him towards then Jim Kirk, but it's all really confusing and enough to rock a guy's worldview a bit. ]
I definitely wasn't a vampire. It feels different, then and now. I was alive.
[ Which is weird to notice, but also adds some credibility to the chance of it being something in the future. What happens to vampires when they die? Do they get reborn? Fuck, he doesn't want to think about that, it's so damn philisophical. There was no point in dwelling on that—they couldn't change it, whatever it was.
But they could focus on the here and now. ]
I felt it. Wantin' to learn more about you, feeling... you know, like I can talk to you. I know this is it, I've just been denyin' it.
[ He shakes his head. He sounds so ridiculous. But the possibility of their meeting feels inevitable. Getting memories of chasing Jim around only seemed to confirm what Leonard felt when they first met—this man is going somewhere, and I wanna follow him. Even if it meant chasing him down halls or finding out more about why he had a split lip and blood all over his clothes. Even if he was a brat who liked having his neck bit.
Of course, instead of all that, he says: ]
Really are stuck together, huh? If that's another life, or the future... somethin' tells me, this is it.
[ This friendship, whatever it was, was it. ]
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Except not everyone was here or at least the same, Spock and Uhura weren't here, same with Scotty and Chekov... it was just him and Bones. Just him and a man he felt fond of in the memory just the same as he does now but with more.. more time, more growth? Even if he was also super irritated with him at the time.
His head pops up at the admittance though, eyebrows going up, because Bones has kind of admitted something similar, but to full on admit he felt that something too? That Jim wasn't crazy in feeling the pull of.. destiny or some weird crap.
But Bones felt it too, that need to know the other, the instant draw and almost.. comfort to talk to one another. That he's been denying it but not anymore. Not with this shared memory. It wasn't a shared dream, like what happened earlier, no, this was two separate dreams that coincided in their memory.
And then Bones is giving voice to what he's felt for a while. That this is it, this friendship is it, something big and important and just it.]
I told you, I set my sights on you, Bones, you can't even get rid of me in another life. [He gives a delighted sort of laugh and smile, bright as sunshine, right now his death wasn't even on his mind, the fact he isn't alone in this was something worth feeling bright over.]
So, you got promoted and I eventually become Captain, sounds like we'll be working close together, make a good team even.
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May as well be a thunderstorm in July for how much I can't avoid you, kid.
[ Jim's smiling like the sun and Bones knows that warmth in his chest isn't from frustration. He's already said way more than he's told most people, always shared parts of himself that he never shares.
He'll freak out about the implications later. For now, hearing Jim laugh and seeing him smile would just have to be good enough. ]
"Chief Medical Officer." [ He says it like he's quoting someone, because he is. At the same time, he's proud of the title. It may not mean much of anything to him, but it's a point of pride to know he was still good at his job in whatever weird future life they had. ] Are we in the military or something? One where everybody wears blue or red?
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He even chuckles at the metaphor. ]
Chief huh? Then we'll be working real close together. And... I don't know. We all had titles.. Captain, cadet, lieutenant, they spoke like they were giving orders..
[Kirk gets really serious, bringing his hand to his chin as he recalls things, brows pinched a little in thought.]
I think maybe? I mean, the captain, Pike, he was in Gold, so were a few others. So it's not just red and blue. I remember all three colors being in my other memory too.
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[ Another roll of eyes, but there's some comfort in that too. Jim getting serious, the use of titles and order... At least these other memories have things in common with their real lives. Maybe that's not so bad then. Whatever it was, maybe it would be fine.
It'll be a puzzle to put together, something to pull apart and make sense of. ]
Hold on, I thought you said you were captain? Who's Pike?
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[It was confusing for him too because in his other memory he is captain, he was responsible for everyone and everything that was happening, he had to save his crew even at the.. sacrifice of his life.]
I become Captain at some point, but I'm not sure when.. I'm captain in my other memory the one where.. Well, you saw it. A warped nightmare version of it. You weren't actually there, in the real memory.
[He swallows and feels a heavy weight on his chest again at the thought.]
I don't know where you were. Hopefully somewhere safer than a dying ship.
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Still, talk of the dream sobers Bones up pretty quick. If he had to guess, any situation where Jim dies probably means Bones couldn't stop him from doing something stupid or reckless. That, or maybe he just wasn't on board? He'd guess he was dead maybe, but who can say? Had Jim's sacrifice for the crew included him? Could he really think that sacrificing himself would be worth it?
It's a can of worms he doesn't wanna open too much. ]
That's a real shit memory.
[ Not the worst way to die, if he's being honest—saving other people is the best reason to, at times, but if you ask Bones he'd rather save people and avoid an untimely death. He still doesn't know Jim well enough to guess what he was thinking. All he can do is bring an arm around Jim's shoulders, pulling him into a half hug. ]
Hey, at least in this life, you're not gonna die permanently. Us vampires get to cheat death.
[ It's pretty great!! Except for the shitty parts, but Bones is trying to stay positive here. Which is how you know he cares about Jim—he's a real negative Nancy with most people. ]
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He knows he would feel the same way about Bones and saving him. The relief he felt when Spock told him the ship and crew were saved. It was terrifying but worth it. And what a weird feeling that was, but he can still feel that mix of emotions in his chest when he thinks about it.
It makes his Becoming something he's dreading.. to die again.
Again.
The half hug is surprising, but he returns it, leaning into the hug and resting his head against him.]
Yeah.. yeah you're not wrong.
[He gives Bones a cheeky smile, more to cover up that the idea of dying in general scares him.]
Plus, I get to bother my favorite doctor all the time. I'm looking forward to it.
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Clearly, death can't stop them
because they can't read. ]Yeah, lucky me.
[ Bones rolls his eyes but he gives Jim a squeeze. A physical reassurance if nothing else. It's all he can do, when there's so much uncertainty. He doesn't know what any of this. means, what a shared life in space might have to do with where they are now.
But an eternity with his friend—maybe even his best friend, even if they're both vampires, well. That sounds pretty nice, he has to admit. ]
Better not get injured just so you can come see me. I have office hours, you know.
[ As if Jim needed office hours to invade Leonard's space. Psh. ]
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And the fact that Bones barely tried to push him away before also giving in to this feeling, before giving into the pull between them? It just made Jim want to stick to him even more.
Bones wasn't doing himself any favors being nice to this idiot, he would never get rid of him at this rate.]
Uh-huh, office hours, we both know those don't apply to me. [Grin.]
But just for you, I won't go looking for trouble, I'll let it find me instead.
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[ But he smiles as he says it, somehow warmed by the proximity, even knowing what a headache Jim Kirk can be. He can't imagine getting rid of him now, can't imagine not having him in his life even with just the few things he remembers before. Something about this kid, underneath all his bluster, was worth keeping around.
He doesn't even deny the thing about his office hours. Those never apply to the people Bones actually likes.
They were always going to meet, whether in this life or the next. Strange fucking feeling, but at least they weren't dealing with it alone. ]
Try and do it for your hot maker too—even if somethin' tells me trouble an' you are old friends.
[ He elbows Jim in the side, playful more than anything. Oh, you're in trouble now, Jim. If you've made it to Bones actually getting playful, there's simply no escaping him. ]
And if you tell Edgin I said he's hot, I'll find my biggest needle to stab you with next time you end up in the infirmary!
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He laughs when Bones calls him and trouble old friends. Honestly, he likes Bones being playful, it felt right.]
Of course I try to stay out of trouble for my hot maker, and I promise, I won't tell him. Though he would be flattered to know.
[A pause and then he's grinning this time, like the cat who got the canary]
Wanna see my mask? I'm told it looks like a slightly younger, less sad Edgin.
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He's just a friend! Like you.
[ That's not a "we'll never have sex," in fact it's the opposite considering how Bones feels about Edgin, but don't worry about it. If they're just messing around, then that's good. It feels nice. Bones hasn't really had a friend like Jim... ever, if he thinks about it. Maybe in that other life? But it was Jim, wasn't it? ]
Sure, let's see it. Though for the record, Edgin pulls off sad really well.
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