[ Fuck, Edgin, stop being so nice. It makes Bones smile, hearing him say that. Selfish? If this is Edgin being selfish, it's no wonder the man's a damn saint.
Bones keeps the strap in his hands, thumbing the embroidery. It's so nice. He can't muster anything mean to say. ]
If this is you subtly tellin' me you wanna start up a band, you're doin' alright there, mastermind.
[ But his complaint is baseless. He's obviously shy. He wants to cross his arms and grumble, but he's still holding Edgin's very thoughtful gift. So he settles for glaring, even if it's clear that Edgin has him figured out. ]
Surgery never happens in front of a crowd—and I've got all my years of experience when it comes to that. Playin' music is... it's different.
[ He looks down and away, hiding a blush behind his bluster. It really is so easy to be honest with Edgin. Even if that doesn't preclude him getting angry (he's not really angry.) ]
Fine. I guess I'm fucking shy. When it comes to this.
Edited (angrier (but he's not angry) ) 2024-02-16 17:12 (UTC)
[ Some part of him wants to laugh and say that's cute, but they're not really friends like that. He doesn't really have anyone he can tease like that, anymore, except maybe Kirk. But it's been a long time since he's been comfortable enough around anyone to think of it. ]
[ Leonard would definitely turn bright pink (silver?) if Edgin called him anything remotely close to "cute." Which Bones has already called Edgin -- well, he's called his drawings "cute," it might not be the same thing. It's not. ]
You say that, but I can do a quick tracheotomy with my eyes closed.
[ Maybe not the best image to be calling forward, but Leonard laughs because he knows what Edgin means. He's just being a whiny sourpuss about it. But he doesn't mean it, of course. ]
If I were to perform with you, I'd need more practice. A lot more. You'd get sick of me, seein' my long face for that long.
[ That feels presumptuous to say, but he's saying it!! It's not. It's not like he's saying he wants to see Edgin and it makes a good excuse to see him or anything, b-baka!! ]
[ It does sound like flirting. Bones is going to try not to take it that way, but damn if it doesn't pat his ego a lil bit. And hearing Edgin say he enjoys spending time with him... it makes Bones' heart do something stupid, like get all warm for no reason at all. ]
It is, huh? Damn.
[ He smiles, something almost vulnerable, when Edgin puts it like that, so simply. Man, imagine just being able to say things like that. Bones mulls the words over in his brain, willing his mouth not to say something snide. Edgin doesn't deserve that. ]
And so's this, Edgin. [ He pats the guitar strap, silver eyes bright with appreciation. ] I'd do it again, gift or not.
[ Bones steps a little closer, wondering if he should... pat Edgin's shoulder? Show him some kind of comfort? He's no good at this. Best he can do is be honest with him, and offer him no judgement for it. ]
Seriously. You could do way worse. Wasn't even a 5 on my scale of fuckups.
[ Bones has to laugh. That's not a question he would have expected, and not one he'd answer honestly from anyone else. ]
I'll spare you the details, but it'd have to involve a lot of vomiting, among other things. I made just about every poor decision I could make that wouldn't kill me, back when I was human. It's a miracle my wife didn't kick me out sooner, honestly.
[ Anyone else may have gotten the watered-down version of his response, but Edgin asked... and Bones felt he should be honest with the guy. If they really are going to be friends, he should know what he's getting into. ]
Plus, you gotta remember I'm a doctor, Ed. [ He smiles saying this, like it's a point of pride. ] I've seen things that'd make the Founders cry.
[ Edgin feels like maybe he shouldn't have asked, after all. He's willing to listen, of course, but for all Bones says these words like they're not that bad, the things he's talking about are the kinds of things that scar you deeply.
He finds that he's sad for him, in a way he hasn't felt for anyone in a long time. ]
[ Ah... Well, Bones didn't mean to bring the mood down. He has seen terrible things, even been the cause for several of them. But he isn't used to getting sympathy for them, isn't really used to doing more than brushing off the horrible stuff he's been through, when it feels like another lifetime ago.
He doesn't know what to do with Edgin's kindness. It makes him itch for something like a drink, in that way he knows won't do him any good. ]
Being the only doctor for miles and miles will do that.
[ He looks down and away, trying to find words that aren't just an attempt to brush off Edgin's concern, maybe give him something that isn't more of the same bullshit he gives most people. Edgin's serious about this, he can tell, and Leonard finds himself wanting more of it. He's sure he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but Edgin somehow makes all that trauma seem like it matters. ]
I used to say I was used to it. But with all the drinking... pretty obvious I wasn't, huh?
[ Even if he carries them with him still, he's supposed to move on. He could only carry so much hurt with him. His father, his family, those were more immediate hurts. But seeing what he's seen... it wasn't easy. He sighs. ]
It's easier now that I'm dead. [ He shakes his head. ] Sorry, I know that's kind of fucked up, but it's true.
[ Easier to put distance between himself and his patients, easier to not care about every novice that walks through his door. Bones doesn't indulge in a lot of the cultural norms most vampires follow, but... he can't deny this one helps. It makes him a better doctor, even if he knows it makes him a worse person. ]
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Bones keeps the strap in his hands, thumbing the embroidery. It's so nice. He can't muster anything mean to say. ]
If this is you subtly tellin' me you wanna start up a band, you're doin' alright there, mastermind.
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[ He knows Bones has a long way to go, but it's fun to joke about it all the same. ]
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[ He's shy. He isn't saying it in so many words, but it's hard enough playing already, with how it reminds him of home... ]
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[ he's just gonna go out and ask for it ]
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He won't be, Edgin doesn't deserve that when he brought Bones a gift, but he does glare for a bit. ]
Look, I ain't played in years. You've seen for yourself, I ain't all that good.
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[ Edgin laughs. It's funny too how easy this conversation is, how simple it is to be with Bones. ]
So you are shy.
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[ But his complaint is baseless. He's obviously shy. He wants to cross his arms and grumble, but he's still holding Edgin's very thoughtful gift. So he settles for glaring, even if it's clear that Edgin has him figured out. ]
Surgery never happens in front of a crowd—and I've got all my years of experience when it comes to that. Playin' music is... it's different.
[ He looks down and away, hiding a blush behind his bluster. It really is so easy to be honest with Edgin. Even if that doesn't preclude him getting angry (he's not really angry.) ]
Fine. I guess I'm fucking shy. When it comes to this.
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I promise it's not harder than surgery.
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You say that, but I can do a quick tracheotomy with my eyes closed.
[ Maybe not the best image to be calling forward, but Leonard laughs because he knows what Edgin means. He's just being a whiny sourpuss about it. But he doesn't mean it, of course. ]
If I were to perform with you, I'd need more practice. A lot more. You'd get sick of me, seein' my long face for that long.
[ That feels presumptuous to say, but he's saying it!! It's not. It's not like he's saying he wants to see Edgin and it makes a good excuse to see him or anything, b-baka!! ]
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[ To anyone else, this would 100% sound like flirting. But somehow, Edgin truly believes that he's just being friendly. This is his life. ]
I wouldn't get sick of you. It's nice, to spend time with someone who gets it.
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It is, huh? Damn.
[ He smiles, something almost vulnerable, when Edgin puts it like that, so simply. Man, imagine just being able to say things like that. Bones mulls the words over in his brain, willing his mouth not to say something snide. Edgin doesn't deserve that. ]
And so's this, Edgin. [ He pats the guitar strap, silver eyes bright with appreciation. ] I'd do it again, gift or not.
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[ He sighs, it sure did happen, didn't it? There's no point to talking about how he could be better or would do better or anything like that.
So instead, all he can offer his appreciation. ]
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[ Bones steps a little closer, wondering if he should... pat Edgin's shoulder? Show him some kind of comfort? He's no good at this. Best he can do is be honest with him, and offer him no judgement for it. ]
Seriously. You could do way worse. Wasn't even a 5 on my scale of fuckups.
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[ His tone isn't pushing, he doesn't want Bones to have to tell him if he doesn't want to, but since he opened the door.... ]
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I'll spare you the details, but it'd have to involve a lot of vomiting, among other things. I made just about every poor decision I could make that wouldn't kill me, back when I was human. It's a miracle my wife didn't kick me out sooner, honestly.
[ Anyone else may have gotten the watered-down version of his response, but Edgin asked... and Bones felt he should be honest with the guy. If they really are going to be friends, he should know what he's getting into. ]
Plus, you gotta remember I'm a doctor, Ed. [ He smiles saying this, like it's a point of pride. ] I've seen things that'd make the Founders cry.
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He finds that he's sad for him, in a way he hasn't felt for anyone in a long time. ]
It must've been hard, seeing stuff like that.
cw alcoholism
He doesn't know what to do with Edgin's kindness. It makes him itch for something like a drink, in that way he knows won't do him any good. ]
Being the only doctor for miles and miles will do that.
[ He looks down and away, trying to find words that aren't just an attempt to brush off Edgin's concern, maybe give him something that isn't more of the same bullshit he gives most people. Edgin's serious about this, he can tell, and Leonard finds himself wanting more of it. He's sure he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but Edgin somehow makes all that trauma seem like it matters. ]
I used to say I was used to it. But with all the drinking... pretty obvious I wasn't, huh?
[ Even if he carries them with him still, he's supposed to move on. He could only carry so much hurt with him. His father, his family, those were more immediate hurts. But seeing what he's seen... it wasn't easy. He sighs. ]
It's easier now that I'm dead. [ He shakes his head. ] Sorry, I know that's kind of fucked up, but it's true.
[ Easier to put distance between himself and his patients, easier to not care about every novice that walks through his door. Bones doesn't indulge in a lot of the cultural norms most vampires follow, but... he can't deny this one helps. It makes him a better doctor, even if he knows it makes him a worse person. ]