[ Bones smiles to hear it, even a sad laugh is better than none. He looks straight down at Edgin, the same understanding and sympathy that he knows Edgin would have for him, and he's definitely about to tell Edgin not to apologize when Edgin bridges the distance with a kiss.
That shuts Leonard up pretty easy. He kisses back gently, reaching forward to brace on the back of Edgin's neck. He's careful and soft and puts as much comfort as he can in every gesture, rubbing Edgin's neck with his thumb as he kisses back. He doesn't need thanks, but it's appreciated. He doesn't mind shouldering Edgin's burdens. His heart is too big not to. Now that he's let Edgin in, he'd never be content to let Edgin suffer on his own. ]
[ Edgin sighs into the kiss, relaxing somewhat. It's strange, how it feels like his worlds collide in this moment. This bond with Kirk is so uniquely something vampiric, as he'd been his maker and Kirk had been his novice. It was normal for vampires to have relationships like that, just as blood claims were normal, and normal to have multiple partners.
But with Bones, he feels so human. He feels imperfect and fallible, but only in a way that feels right. It feels like it should, not like the inhuman perfection of the world around them. They were, the both of them, deeply flawed. There was something so beautiful about that, a pull that he cannot deny.
The problem was, that meant that this thing that they were doing (putting aside the fact they'd started it because of magical pollen of all things) felt human too. And it felt like he'd betray Bones by being in love with Kirk, and he'd hurt Kirk by being in love with Bones.
Then again, Jim had Xenk now. He feels jealous when he shouldn't. Jealous that Xenk was perfect and handsome and the right maker for any novice. Jealous because he knows how much better Xenk is than him, and he has no doubt that Jim will stay with him when presented with the better of two options. Who wouldn't? He'd been settling for tarnished brass when he could have gold.
Edgin pulls away from the kiss as the tide of the sea of these emotions threatens to over take him. He runs his thumb along McCoy's cheekbone and smiles sadly at him. ]
[ Bones sighs against Edgin's lips, drawn in all things towards the kind of people who love deeply and hide their pain under the kindest of smiles. Edgin is as steady as the tide, where Jim was as fierce as thunderstorm, but Bones can see all the ways they'd fit together, and he can see how carving Jim out of himself wasn't just painful for Edgin, but agonizing. As a doctor, he'd probably prescribe some time apart just to figure things out. He'd probably suggest Edgin doesn't rush into anything too quickly after a broken bond.
Too damn late for that now, though. Bones knows how deep a broken heart can cut. He knows he and Edgin both share the mistake so many vampires look down on them for—they're too human where it counts. They've got too many feelings. They cling to their hurts and they drag those feelings against the people around them, sharp edges cutting anyone who dares get too close. He can feel how well his broken pieces line up with Edgin's, and maybe it's selfish, but he wants that. He wants to hold Edgin and cradle him and soothe his hurts. It's not how a vampire loves, but he doesn't care.
Those human feelings though—they make the highs high, but the lows low. It makes it harder than it needs to be, in other words. But oddly enough, despite being the younger of the two, it seems like Bones has a little more experience meshing his vampiric instincts and his human ones. Maybe it's because he and Karma still have a bond, despite not being romantically involved, or maybe it's just that becoming a vampire and looking back on his life made Leonard realize that loving someone didn't exclude them from loving other people—and that he might always love Jocelyn, but he wanted her to be happy, and love someone that wasn't him. Or maybe he's just a selfish bastard who wants two beautiful blond boyfriends. Or maybe that he'd rather see Edgin smile—really smile again, even if that's a look reserved only for Jim Kirk.
Regardless, Bones watches that sadness in Edgin's eyes and it breaks his heart. He answers with a smiles he hopes carries the comfort he has, silver meeting blue. Truth is, he could get used to this too. And he can figure all this out—he's a smart man. He'll think of something. For now, he'd be here for Edgin, and that would simply be enough. He inches forward, leaning over Edgin's lap and resting his forehead against his. ]
I reckon I'd like that, Ed.
Edited (no need for "too" ) 2024-02-28 17:32 (UTC)
[ He's really not that much younger than Edgin, especially not in vampire years, but it's true that Bones has a relationship with his maker. Edgin really doesn't, but that's fine with him. He managed tog et turned at the end of his schooling and he didn't die. ]
How about stargazing?
[ For their date, he means. ]
I could get a bit of the good bloodwine from someone in Red Court, and it'll be just you, and me, and the stars, and the last vestiges of winter.
[ Gotta get you some strong vampire role models, Edgin. Definitely not Xenk Yendar though, that guy's weird. Bones stays in close because it just feels good to be near Edgin, his hand stroking the short hairs on the back of his neck.
It takes him a second to connect the dots on what Edgin's saying, but as soon as he does, he smiles, wide and honest like he hasn't felt in more than a decade. ]
Sounds perfect.
[ A date under the stars, enjoying some peace and quiet around nature... Bones couldn't have planned it better himself. ]
Almost wish I'd thought of it first.
[ He jokes, the touch on Edgin's neck turning playful. He'll just have to think of something for next time. They have plenty of next times to plan for, he thinks. ]
[ Always gotta have Plans A-D in your back pocket, huh? ]
Better than me.
[ Bones smirks, enjoying the easy comfort of seeing Edgin smile. Damn, he really could get used to that. Plus, Bones is more of a doer than a planner. When Bones makes plans, it's the kind of thing where he has to sit down and get organized about it. He's glad to have Edgin's "expertise" in this. ]
Next week sounds good. [ He rolls his eyes at the reminder, though. He knows as well as most people that the Silver Court has had their issues with plants. ] You're tellin' me. I dunno who's managin' our budget, but they're givin' the plan guys too many damn resources. I can't get a fresh set of glassware more than once a month, but the plant guys made giant pumpkins?
[ He scoffs, shaking his head. This is the good kind of complaining, though. It's more fun to complain with people you care about... ]
Yeah, the pumpkins! Those were awful. There were vines everywhere. I got locked out of class one day. You can't hack through vines with a lute.
[ He tried though!! ]
And then there was the mistletoe, and now this. It's getting objectively worse, right? Do you guys have some mad plant scientist holed up in the greenhouse?
And they were all over the damn place! I got locked in my office, and the infirmary. Twice! What was the damn point of just makin' pumpkins? At least if they'd been corn or wheat, that'd've been useful. Don't even get me started on the mistletoe.
[ Bones is right there with Edgin. The plants suck. Though there's something very sweet about poor Edgin trying to knock vines away with his lute. It's precious.
But despite his ranting, Bones feels he has to defend... well, at least this latest outbreak. ]
Now wait just a second, this one -- the pollen -- that ain't on us! [ Shit. Us? No, not us. Bones shakes his head. He isn't trying to get defensive, it's just who he is. ] Or well, it ain't on the plant guys. We checked and double checked, nobody had any flower projects goin' on cause of the winter. And nobody's been able to figure out where they came from. Best we could do was neutralize the effects, work 'em into extracts and stuff. But if this was us, we'd have started with the extracts upfront. Pollinating the whole castle ain't on anyone's to-do list.
It isn't on anyone's to-do list as far as you know.
[ He's just going to say it, and ignore the talk about food because it makes him think about the North, and about the years crops ran dry, and about Jim, who he was always so protective over. But it's not his role to do that anymore. Xenk will have to learn. Or Jim will just protect himself. ]
[ Bones huffs, not wanting to entertain the idea of someone pollinating the castle. For what...? No, he's not gonna think about it. It's too weird.
He shrugs. Best not to dwell on things that go above his pay grade. (Which is 0.) That said, he sits back down beside Edgin, shifting so his hand is just resting on his thigh. He wants to keep him close, even if he's just talking shop at this point. He hopes this is at least distracting Edgin. ]
Mostly we're handing 'em out to whoever's willing to test 'em. Not like we can sell 'em, and they come with a bit of a hangover, so technically the flowers have us beat. I think if we could figure out how to cut the aftereffects there'd be something to 'em, but since these ain't our flowers, we might not be able to replicate the effects past however long they last.
We've narrowed it down and localized each kind of flower, yeah. Though it's trial and error half the time -- got a lot easier to test once we worked out the cure.
[ Not all flowers are made the same, after all. ]
Usually I'd say I'm a doctor, not a botanist, but I'm startin' to think maybe I should pick up a book or two with how many crazy plants we've been dealing with.
There are easier ways to ask someone out, you know.
[ There's no judgment, it's not like he feels like it occurred under false pretenses. If anything, it's the opposite. He's a little flattered that Bones would choose to be horny and wet so they could spend the time together.
[ Judgement or note, Bones certainly judges himself for this. He tries to fumble out some sort of retort, but mostly his mouth opens and closes before he responds. ]
Look! I... I know.
[ He brings a hand to his temples, rubbing them (mostly to try and hide his blush.) Being a vampire is so weird. ]
Knowing me, I woulda kept yearnin' like a lovelorn teenager for months before I actually said anything. Hell, coulda been years.
[ Thank goodness Edgin does, honestly. He really was worried Edgin would take it the wrong way. But knows he's often his own worst enemy, so this is one mishap he can't bring himself to regret. ]
But I had to go and shoot my shot. [ He turns back to look at Edgin, a smile on the edge of his lips. ] Plus, you know, if you'd turned me down I could've blame it on the pollen, and we'd stay friends, and that would've been that.
[ Seeing Bones desperate like that, too. He doesn't feel like he's close enough to really say that, yet, another thing that feels the opposite of his relationship with Jim. But he certainly won't soon forget the feeling of Bones's clear need, the way he dripped with want for him.
Edgin catches himself before a shiver runs down his spine. No, he's fine. It's good. He's totally normal right now. ]
[ Bones smiles, catching that shiver. He's a doctor, he's observant. He knows what to look for. It might be a little early in their relationship to bring it up (is it? They're going for slow. They don't want to rush. So, probably?) but Bones couldn't complain with how any of it went. He got off twice and Edgin had been perfect -- fucking him just right, and being the kindest gentleman about it all even though Bones himself had made for such a pathetic display.
Or. Well, it can't have been that bad for Edgin if the memory is enough to make him shiver like that. ]
[ Edgin smiles that sad smile and looks down at his hands. It had been really nice, even if he was complicating everything. He thinks about how he should talk to Kirk about it, except, that's not really the same thing anymore, and that makes him immensely sad. ]
[ Whoops, don't worry, Edgin, Bones is gonna talk to Jim about it. But right at the moment he's fussing about Edgin and keeping him company, which, if that's all Edgin wants or needs, then that's what Bones plans to give him.
He knows that's why Edgin came all this way. Much as he'd like to remind him that Jim isn't gone forever, they don't have that kind of relationship and it isn't Bones' place to step on the shattered pieces of his heart.
So Bones sets a hand in Edgin's, happy to distract him from the hollow chasm in his heart. ]
So... you learn any new songs lately? I've been practicin'.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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That shuts Leonard up pretty easy. He kisses back gently, reaching forward to brace on the back of Edgin's neck. He's careful and soft and puts as much comfort as he can in every gesture, rubbing Edgin's neck with his thumb as he kisses back. He doesn't need thanks, but it's appreciated. He doesn't mind shouldering Edgin's burdens. His heart is too big not to. Now that he's let Edgin in, he'd never be content to let Edgin suffer on his own. ]
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But with Bones, he feels so human. He feels imperfect and fallible, but only in a way that feels right. It feels like it should, not like the inhuman perfection of the world around them. They were, the both of them, deeply flawed. There was something so beautiful about that, a pull that he cannot deny.
The problem was, that meant that this thing that they were doing (putting aside the fact they'd started it because of magical pollen of all things) felt human too. And it felt like he'd betray Bones by being in love with Kirk, and he'd hurt Kirk by being in love with Bones.
Then again, Jim had Xenk now. He feels jealous when he shouldn't. Jealous that Xenk was perfect and handsome and the right maker for any novice. Jealous because he knows how much better Xenk is than him, and he has no doubt that Jim will stay with him when presented with the better of two options. Who wouldn't? He'd been settling for tarnished brass when he could have gold.
Edgin pulls away from the kiss as the tide of the sea of these emotions threatens to over take him. He runs his thumb along McCoy's cheekbone and smiles sadly at him. ]
I could get used to that.
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Too damn late for that now, though. Bones knows how deep a broken heart can cut. He knows he and Edgin both share the mistake so many vampires look down on them for—they're too human where it counts. They've got too many feelings. They cling to their hurts and they drag those feelings against the people around them, sharp edges cutting anyone who dares get too close. He can feel how well his broken pieces line up with Edgin's, and maybe it's selfish, but he wants that. He wants to hold Edgin and cradle him and soothe his hurts. It's not how a vampire loves, but he doesn't care.
Those human feelings though—they make the highs high, but the lows low. It makes it harder than it needs to be, in other words. But oddly enough, despite being the younger of the two, it seems like Bones has a little more experience meshing his vampiric instincts and his human ones. Maybe it's because he and Karma still have a bond, despite not being romantically involved, or maybe it's just that becoming a vampire and looking back on his life made Leonard realize that loving someone didn't exclude them from loving other people—and that he might always love Jocelyn, but he wanted her to be happy, and love someone that wasn't him. Or maybe he's just a selfish bastard who wants two beautiful blond boyfriends. Or maybe that he'd rather see Edgin smile—really smile again, even if that's a look reserved only for Jim Kirk.
Regardless, Bones watches that sadness in Edgin's eyes and it breaks his heart. He answers with a smiles he hopes carries the comfort he has, silver meeting blue. Truth is, he could get used to this too. And he can figure all this out—he's a smart man. He'll think of something. For now, he'd be here for Edgin, and that would simply be enough. He inches forward, leaning over Edgin's lap and resting his forehead against his. ]
I reckon I'd like that, Ed.
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How about stargazing?
[ For their date, he means. ]
I could get a bit of the good bloodwine from someone in Red Court, and it'll be just you, and me, and the stars, and the last vestiges of winter.
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It takes him a second to connect the dots on what Edgin's saying, but as soon as he does, he smiles, wide and honest like he hasn't felt in more than a decade. ]
Sounds perfect.
[ A date under the stars, enjoying some peace and quiet around nature... Bones couldn't have planned it better himself. ]
Almost wish I'd thought of it first.
[ He jokes, the touch on Edgin's neck turning playful. He'll just have to think of something for next time. They have plenty of next times to plan for, he thinks. ]
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[ he makes plans! not just plans that fail, sometimes!
Bones is so handsome when he smiles, though, especially like that. It brings a smile to Edgin's face, too. ]
Next week, maybe? Assuming we don't all turn into plants or something.
[ Seriously, Silver Court, what is up with all the plant shenanigans ]
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Better than me.
[ Bones smirks, enjoying the easy comfort of seeing Edgin smile. Damn, he really could get used to that. Plus, Bones is more of a doer than a planner. When Bones makes plans, it's the kind of thing where he has to sit down and get organized about it. He's glad to have Edgin's "expertise" in this. ]
Next week sounds good. [ He rolls his eyes at the reminder, though. He knows as well as most people that the Silver Court has had their issues with plants. ] You're tellin' me. I dunno who's managin' our budget, but they're givin' the plan guys too many damn resources. I can't get a fresh set of glassware more than once a month, but the plant guys made giant pumpkins?
[ He scoffs, shaking his head. This is the good kind of complaining, though. It's more fun to complain with people you care about... ]
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[ He tried though!! ]
And then there was the mistletoe, and now this. It's getting objectively worse, right? Do you guys have some mad plant scientist holed up in the greenhouse?
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[ Bones is right there with Edgin. The plants suck. Though there's something very sweet about poor Edgin trying to knock vines away with his lute. It's precious.
But despite his ranting, Bones feels he has to defend... well, at least this latest outbreak. ]
Now wait just a second, this one -- the pollen -- that ain't on us! [ Shit. Us? No, not us. Bones shakes his head. He isn't trying to get defensive, it's just who he is. ] Or well, it ain't on the plant guys. We checked and double checked, nobody had any flower projects goin' on cause of the winter. And nobody's been able to figure out where they came from. Best we could do was neutralize the effects, work 'em into extracts and stuff. But if this was us, we'd have started with the extracts upfront. Pollinating the whole castle ain't on anyone's to-do list.
[ As far as he knows! ]
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[ He's just going to say it, and ignore the talk about food because it makes him think about the North, and about the years crops ran dry, and about Jim, who he was always so protective over. But it's not his role to do that anymore. Xenk will have to learn. Or Jim will just protect himself. ]
What are you guys doing with the extracts?
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[ Bones huffs, not wanting to entertain the idea of someone pollinating the castle. For what...? No, he's not gonna think about it. It's too weird.
He shrugs. Best not to dwell on things that go above his pay grade. (Which is 0.) That said, he sits back down beside Edgin, shifting so his hand is just resting on his thigh. He wants to keep him close, even if he's just talking shop at this point. He hopes this is at least distracting Edgin. ]
Mostly we're handing 'em out to whoever's willing to test 'em. Not like we can sell 'em, and they come with a bit of a hangover, so technically the flowers have us beat. I think if we could figure out how to cut the aftereffects there'd be something to 'em, but since these ain't our flowers, we might not be able to replicate the effects past however long they last.
[ So much for "them" and not "us," Bones. ]
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[ presumably they know which extracts are which. But really he's happy to talk about this and not himself ]
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[ Not all flowers are made the same, after all. ]
Usually I'd say I'm a doctor, not a botanist, but I'm startin' to think maybe I should pick up a book or two with how many crazy plants we've been dealing with.
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[ Edgin's brow furrows in concentration. If he'd had a cure the whole time, then he could've used that instead of asking Edgin to come over. ]
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The cure was, uh. My backup plan. I... didn't actually expect you to respond.
[ We can blame the pollen for giving Bones the balls to actually message Edgin, as opposed to suffering in silence. ]
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[ There's no judgment, it's not like he feels like it occurred under false pretenses. If anything, it's the opposite. He's a little flattered that Bones would choose to be horny and wet so they could spend the time together.
Man, being a vampire is weird. ]
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Look! I... I know.
[ He brings a hand to his temples, rubbing them (mostly to try and hide his blush.) Being a vampire is so weird. ]
Knowing me, I woulda kept yearnin' like a lovelorn teenager for months before I actually said anything. Hell, coulda been years.
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[ could've been years indeed. ]
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[ Thank goodness Edgin does, honestly. He really was worried Edgin would take it the wrong way. But knows he's often his own worst enemy, so this is one mishap he can't bring himself to regret. ]
But I had to go and shoot my shot. [ He turns back to look at Edgin, a smile on the edge of his lips. ] Plus, you know, if you'd turned me down I could've blame it on the pollen, and we'd stay friends, and that would've been that.
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[ And he's supposed to be the plan guy. Incredible. ]
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[ His luck does not usually go that way. He shrugs. Usually his failures catch up to him... he lucked out. ]
nsfw
[ Seeing Bones desperate like that, too. He doesn't feel like he's close enough to really say that, yet, another thing that feels the opposite of his relationship with Jim. But he certainly won't soon forget the feeling of Bones's clear need, the way he dripped with want for him.
Edgin catches himself before a shiver runs down his spine. No, he's fine. It's good. He's totally normal right now. ]
nsfw
[ Bones smiles, catching that shiver. He's a doctor, he's observant. He knows what to look for. It might be a little early in their relationship to bring it up (is it? They're going for slow. They don't want to rush. So, probably?) but Bones couldn't complain with how any of it went. He got off twice and Edgin had been perfect -- fucking him just right, and being the kindest gentleman about it all even though Bones himself had made for such a pathetic display.
Or. Well, it can't have been that bad for Edgin if the memory is enough to make him shiver like that. ]
We both got what we wanted, huh?
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[ Edgin smiles that sad smile and looks down at his hands. It had been really nice, even if he was complicating everything. He thinks about how he should talk to Kirk about it, except, that's not really the same thing anymore, and that makes him immensely sad. ]
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He knows that's why Edgin came all this way. Much as he'd like to remind him that Jim isn't gone forever, they don't have that kind of relationship and it isn't Bones' place to step on the shattered pieces of his heart.
So Bones sets a hand in Edgin's, happy to distract him from the hollow chasm in his heart. ]
So... you learn any new songs lately? I've been practicin'.
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